Whose who in my closet
May. 17th, 2019 07:08 amWow. I started this about 2 hours ago and got overwhelmed by all the people I'd like to explain, define, and categorize. Life doesn't really work that way. So my plan is to add people to this post as I mention them.
Honey/Anita is my would be ex-girlfriend. That is we flirted with a relationship but it never came to fruition because our mental illnesses clash in a way that makes us both sick in the worst ways. She is the mother of my daughter and middle child. She was a primary and a secondary for my sadist at points in the last few. She is bipolar and borderline which i only mention because it is how she defines herself. We met June 2014. Addendum: i always knew honey was a placeholder until i could find the right moniker. Anita because she can be an awesome partner, the best, until her insecurities get the best of her and she picks at it until it cant be maintained anymore. See also Anita Blake books for the reference. Current status with the sadist co-parent and nothing more.
My sadist/Richard wasvmy primary relationship for nearly 10 years. We met in 2001 and we started seeing each other in 2010. He is the father of my daughter and my youngest son. He has many chronic health issues. I updated his name for the anita blake naming convention because it fits. He loves me so much and breaks my heart on the regular because im never who he expects me to be somehow. He almost never means to. We ended our relationship recently but still cohabitate and coparent. Financially its difficult to do anthing else. I hurt a lot about this.
The Roman is currently my only romantic partner. He lives in Kentucky. Ive known him since 1996 though we only started pursuing a relationship October 2015. He's nearly always been there for me. We also have a bdsm relationship and tried switching once upon a time but I really think living in close proximity would be the only way for me to get the comfort level required to try and be a D type. He's loving and supportive.
The nemesis is a lot of things and as the name suggests not many of them good. He's kinda like the bad guy in Jessica Jones without the superpowers. He was a witch... a damn good one. We were poly only not really. I met him in 2002 and i was seeing him full time for 2 years and off and on until 2005. He was abusive as fuck and bdsm. He broke my brain and when he left me i had no idea how i would live without him. I still follow thought paths he put in there from time to time. When he's with me i can't think, i cant get angry, i cant say no. He made finding healthy a super big problem. Delusions i have associated with him include him being the reincarnation of Alistor Crowley and a repeated pattern on the wheel of him trying to steal my soul.
The dream doctor.... ive known the dream doctor since 1999 when we worked together at mcdonalds. Sometimes we are best friends, sometimes we've been lovers, other times we've just kinda been nearby. We are done with all the labels but friend now though.
Leviathan; Lev is just lev. With his permission i left his name as is because i can't think of anything more appropriate than the name he gave himself. Lev and i met ... roughly 2006 before i was married. He's been many things. Spiritual guidance, friend, love interest. It shifts and chanes routinly. He lives in Tennessee however which can be a problem. We have a standing date Mondays to commiserate with and support each other.
Dark Angel first female love. There are a lot of things that could be discussed and defined here but most of it is irrelevant. I thought about writing about her today so i thought I'd drop a reference point to come back to. Her birthday is close to mine, the day before. We met i 1997 and were inseparable best friends until her abusive parents got in the way. We reconnected in 2005 breifly until same abusive parents got in the way again. I loved her and i wanted to date her but it never went that way. Had to let her go to be healthy with myself.
The marine first love period. We did a lot of things but never sex. We had that constant make up break up thing that teenagers do. I was not ready when it ended.
Rhiannon- i can and have in other places written pages and pages about the complexities of our relationship. She was my brother's ex-wife just about 12 years older than me (give or take) my best friend and my first female lover. She was my mother at times and my child at others. We practiced magick together. We shared everything. We were estranged near the beginning if my marriage. Even then we both loved each other deeply. She passed away a few years ago and its been a very hard blow for me.
The hard rock boyfriend got his whole own blog post for an intro but shortly.. the first boy i knew sex was for more than currency and i liked it too.
Romeo could be and may be a blog later. He was 15 and I was 19. He had been seeing Rhiannon before me. I loved him a lot and I cheated on him. I was young and crazy as hell I told him, i didn't get caught. We stayed friends somehow. He joined the army. We've been talking a little lately.
Merlin was my best friend for a long long time. What I didn't know is he felt "friend zoned" by me. No I didn't do the will I won't I shit. When he told me how he felt I told him that (rightly) boyfriends in my life have always been temporary and I wanted more than anything to have a best friend for life . He stopped talking to me early in his marriage.
Fenrys another long standing romance that started at the age of the internet . Relationship was toxic on both sides and I finally cut off contact. He has his own blog entry.
Honey/Anita is my would be ex-girlfriend. That is we flirted with a relationship but it never came to fruition because our mental illnesses clash in a way that makes us both sick in the worst ways. She is the mother of my daughter and middle child. She was a primary and a secondary for my sadist at points in the last few. She is bipolar and borderline which i only mention because it is how she defines herself. We met June 2014. Addendum: i always knew honey was a placeholder until i could find the right moniker. Anita because she can be an awesome partner, the best, until her insecurities get the best of her and she picks at it until it cant be maintained anymore. See also Anita Blake books for the reference. Current status with the sadist co-parent and nothing more.
My sadist/Richard wasvmy primary relationship for nearly 10 years. We met in 2001 and we started seeing each other in 2010. He is the father of my daughter and my youngest son. He has many chronic health issues. I updated his name for the anita blake naming convention because it fits. He loves me so much and breaks my heart on the regular because im never who he expects me to be somehow. He almost never means to. We ended our relationship recently but still cohabitate and coparent. Financially its difficult to do anthing else. I hurt a lot about this.
The Roman is currently my only romantic partner. He lives in Kentucky. Ive known him since 1996 though we only started pursuing a relationship October 2015. He's nearly always been there for me. We also have a bdsm relationship and tried switching once upon a time but I really think living in close proximity would be the only way for me to get the comfort level required to try and be a D type. He's loving and supportive.
The nemesis is a lot of things and as the name suggests not many of them good. He's kinda like the bad guy in Jessica Jones without the superpowers. He was a witch... a damn good one. We were poly only not really. I met him in 2002 and i was seeing him full time for 2 years and off and on until 2005. He was abusive as fuck and bdsm. He broke my brain and when he left me i had no idea how i would live without him. I still follow thought paths he put in there from time to time. When he's with me i can't think, i cant get angry, i cant say no. He made finding healthy a super big problem. Delusions i have associated with him include him being the reincarnation of Alistor Crowley and a repeated pattern on the wheel of him trying to steal my soul.
The dream doctor.... ive known the dream doctor since 1999 when we worked together at mcdonalds. Sometimes we are best friends, sometimes we've been lovers, other times we've just kinda been nearby. We are done with all the labels but friend now though.
Leviathan; Lev is just lev. With his permission i left his name as is because i can't think of anything more appropriate than the name he gave himself. Lev and i met ... roughly 2006 before i was married. He's been many things. Spiritual guidance, friend, love interest. It shifts and chanes routinly. He lives in Tennessee however which can be a problem. We have a standing date Mondays to commiserate with and support each other.
Dark Angel first female love. There are a lot of things that could be discussed and defined here but most of it is irrelevant. I thought about writing about her today so i thought I'd drop a reference point to come back to. Her birthday is close to mine, the day before. We met i 1997 and were inseparable best friends until her abusive parents got in the way. We reconnected in 2005 breifly until same abusive parents got in the way again. I loved her and i wanted to date her but it never went that way. Had to let her go to be healthy with myself.
The marine first love period. We did a lot of things but never sex. We had that constant make up break up thing that teenagers do. I was not ready when it ended.
Rhiannon- i can and have in other places written pages and pages about the complexities of our relationship. She was my brother's ex-wife just about 12 years older than me (give or take) my best friend and my first female lover. She was my mother at times and my child at others. We practiced magick together. We shared everything. We were estranged near the beginning if my marriage. Even then we both loved each other deeply. She passed away a few years ago and its been a very hard blow for me.
The hard rock boyfriend got his whole own blog post for an intro but shortly.. the first boy i knew sex was for more than currency and i liked it too.
Romeo could be and may be a blog later. He was 15 and I was 19. He had been seeing Rhiannon before me. I loved him a lot and I cheated on him. I was young and crazy as hell I told him, i didn't get caught. We stayed friends somehow. He joined the army. We've been talking a little lately.
Merlin was my best friend for a long long time. What I didn't know is he felt "friend zoned" by me. No I didn't do the will I won't I shit. When he told me how he felt I told him that (rightly) boyfriends in my life have always been temporary and I wanted more than anything to have a best friend for life . He stopped talking to me early in his marriage.
Fenrys another long standing romance that started at the age of the internet . Relationship was toxic on both sides and I finally cut off contact. He has his own blog entry.