Ms. Fix-it
Jun. 12th, 2018 03:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nissaayen Until you've been in an emotionally abusive relationship or something similar you just don't know how powerful somebody else's mood is.
I realized today as the Roman had a bad mood thst tried to spin me off in a panic attack that I have this nearly irrepressible urge to fix it when these things come up.
With the nemisis, anita, and Richard- it's a thing. They aren't doing well and all the sudden whatever I was doing, whatever is going on, I have to stop and try to make it better, because if i don't sooner or later their bad feeling is going to bite me. I'm gonna get caught in an explosion, or suddenly this mood that I have no idea where it came from is going to be all about me. It's going to hurt me and I can't just leave it unattended and unwatcher. The nemisis would find a way to punish me for it later, Richard and Anita were more likely to just throw me off balance with their feelings then somehow both make it aboit me and make me feel selfish for making it about me.
I think I stopped it pretty quickly today, recognized what was happening and realized that at least with my Roman that it wasn't needed. His bad moods don't bite, I mean he's by no means perfect but when it's not my fault it's not my fault and I dont need to be afraid.
Now how to address the things that do. I've been having this fight with Richard for a little while. I guess i need to point at it each time it happens.
I shouldn't have to be afraid of other people's feelings. Mine are enough
I realized today as the Roman had a bad mood thst tried to spin me off in a panic attack that I have this nearly irrepressible urge to fix it when these things come up.
With the nemisis, anita, and Richard- it's a thing. They aren't doing well and all the sudden whatever I was doing, whatever is going on, I have to stop and try to make it better, because if i don't sooner or later their bad feeling is going to bite me. I'm gonna get caught in an explosion, or suddenly this mood that I have no idea where it came from is going to be all about me. It's going to hurt me and I can't just leave it unattended and unwatcher. The nemisis would find a way to punish me for it later, Richard and Anita were more likely to just throw me off balance with their feelings then somehow both make it aboit me and make me feel selfish for making it about me.
I think I stopped it pretty quickly today, recognized what was happening and realized that at least with my Roman that it wasn't needed. His bad moods don't bite, I mean he's by no means perfect but when it's not my fault it's not my fault and I dont need to be afraid.
Now how to address the things that do. I've been having this fight with Richard for a little while. I guess i need to point at it each time it happens.
I shouldn't have to be afraid of other people's feelings. Mine are enough
