Good night nightmares

 Because if you've never been in an abusive relationship you don't know the worst, most embarrassing things aren't really that they hurt you. In the course of your life many people are going to hurt you and you dont feel guilty about it. The embarassing bit is they gave you things that nobody else would and there's a tiny bit of you that thinks maybe it was worth it.

Wondering what would have happened if he never left.